2015 - a year of not hugging

I had every intention of working on my hugging in 2015. No, that's a lie. I had no intentions. Maybe I'll hug in 2016? I will. I have to. You'll see why.

Here is a list of things I did in 2015 instead of hugging: 

• Visited the dentist for the first time in 9 years...multiple times...that's what happens when you wait too long
• Went to a whirlwind of meetings in various locations for work including Colorado, Florida, Las Vegas, Minnesota, New Jersey, Texas, and Missouri to name a few
• Watched the finale of Parks and Recreation, Mad Men, and Parenthood
• Vacationed in Maui, Sanibel Island, and Chicago
• Ran a marathon
• Bought a house
• Got engaged

That's right, there will be a wedding in 2016 which undoubtably means I HAVE TO LEARN TO HUG. That also means I have two more days of enjoying the non hug life, which I'm going to do to its fullest.

Death and a Wedding

The past few months have been much of the same. Avoiding most hugs at all costs and accepting the hugs I normally accept. I hugged Fred (who did buy me flowers) a few times, a coworker's son, and my dad. Yeah, my dad, I'll get to that. Needless to say, I haven't gone out of my way to work on becoming a hugger. Hugging is awkward, but as I get older, so is standing there while everyone else hugs.

There are two events in life that require hugs, weddings and funerals. In a way, both are taking place this weekend. Neither of which is mine.

Nine years ago, my aunt (my dad's sister) was rushed to IU medical center to donate her cancer stricken body to science. Given only days to live, our family rushed to her side to say our final goodbyes. Two days later, she was released from the hospital. She lived 9 fun filled, loving years with cancer attacking a variety of her internal organs. This past Wednesday morning, she passed away. She was a beautiful woman inside and out. A few years ago when I saw Dolly Parton in concert, my aunt Patty was all I could think about. I'm pretty sure she and Dolly would be BFF's. They both have the naturally kind, giving soul.

We've known the end was coming for a few weeks, but none of us are good at showing emotion. When my parents came to town a week or so ago, I gave my dad a hug. He wanted it more than I didn't want to give it. It wasn't bad. It wasn't even awkward. In fact, I might have even enjoyed it.

At this time, there's no showing and no funeral. Instead, we'll celebrate her life while also celebrating the marriage of my cousin (dad's niece) this weekend. It's sad timing for sure, but I know she would have wanted to see my cousin get married, and now she can.

During the weekend of celebrations, memories, and hugs, I'll miss Aunt Patty's hugs the most. She was one that never let me get away without one. She was sick after all (in her words).

Confessions of a Bad Blogger

It's been three months since I last blogged. And I'm not ashamed. While I have been hugging a few friends and my grandparents, I have not been working on hugging. Nor have I been keeping track of who I've hugged. I can tell you, I haven't hugged anyone new.

Why the lapse in working on hugging? Blame Dr. Oz.

A few months ago I got a free magazine in the mail, Dr. Oz The Good Life. I'm not sure why I received this magazine, but I read it. What can I say, I'm a sucker when it comes to magazines. I made it 3/4 of the way through when I came upon an article on hugging titled "Who Wants a Hug?". I thought, oh great, a subliminal message from the hugging gods. Now I really hate hugging. And I hate Dr. Oz for trying to make me like hugging. But as I read the article, actually written by Peggy Drexler, a psychologist, I realized I wasn't so abnormal after all. Well, wasn't so abnormal in not liking hugs anyway. She doesn't like them either. And if a psychologist doesn't like hugs, I don't have to. But she did give some good advice on hugging and even a few reasons to embrace hugging. It's actually a fun article, you should check it out. http://www.peggydrexler.com/articles/1402-DrOz.jpg Just don't look taken aback when I use the line, "You don't want to hug me, my scampi was full of garlic!"

All of this aside, I'm still going to try and learn to like hugging. After all, it protects your heart, eases stress, and boosts immunity. That's not all though. I've had a few people ask what was up with my lack of blogging, including Fred. In fact, just by posting this very post, Fred has to buy me flowers as part of our back to hugging and blogging agreement. Despite the fact that he asked me to buy tickets to The Black Keys and instead I bought tickets to see Cher and Cyndi Lauper and then told my sister she could have his ticket, he still has to.

Like Bees and Dogs, Huggers Can Smell Fear

They say bees and dogs can smell fear. Whether or not that's true, I don't know. I do know that huggers can smell fear. The fear of non huggers. 

With Valentine's Day being last week, you might expect to see my hug count sky rocket. It didn't. No one got hugs for Valentine's Day. 

However, I did meet Fred's (his name is really Fred, no need for privacy here) family for the first time over the weekend, and that did require some hugging. One at the beginning of Saturday evening and one at the end. Both your typical hug. One may have involved a back pat because nervousness took over. I can't recall. I should have written it down. Talk about an awkward time that would have been.

What happened the next day is what makes me 100% certain huggers can smell fear. Fred's sister-in-law gave him a giant bear hug, then looked at me and smiled and said, "yes, you're getting one too." It's like she knew that although I was smiling on the outside, I was cowering in fear on the inside. She had no idea I wasn't a hugger. She had no preemptive warning. She could smell the hugging fear, and she was not going to let me get away. Turns out, the hug was fine. It was a side hug. Those are always easier. It's like you don't truly have to commit to the hug. You're still free to duck out if need be.

Day 17 of Month 2 (day 48 in total), and I'm at 18 hugs.

Windshield Graffiti

While out of town for a client meeting, I left my car at work for 3 nights. I came home to graffiti of the worst kind thanks to one coworker. I guess this is better than the other pranks he had planned for my car.

Client meetings are usually hug-a-thons at the start and finish. This go around was different. One hug at the beginning upon arrival. And one hug, from a different person, upon departure. Both were one armed, pat the back hugs.

As I enter day 7 of month 2 or day 38 for those of you not doing math, I'm up to 14 hugs. Actually, make that 15 hugs. I did get an unexpected face full of armpit when I was hugged by surprise on Super Bowl Sunday. Speaking of bad at math, I thought for sure I was on hugs 21-23. After some quick calculations, I overestimated my hugging activity, a mere 15 hugs it is.

I blame this on 2 things.

1. It's winter, it's cold, and I don't get out much. And when I do get out, I'm so bundled up I can't move my arms enough to hug someone even if I wanted to. It'd be more of a coat covered chest bump.

2. The thought of becoming a hugger was much more exciting at the beginning of this project. I have since remembered why I never liked hugging to begin with.

A goal is a goal though. By day 365, I will be able to hug without a cringe on my face.

Meeting Doodles

It's day 30. My hug count is still at 12. I now present you with a combination of my favorite things and least favorite things.

The Opposite of Hugging

I had plans to travel home to Evansville this past weekend with hopes of big things for this blog. A rare sighting of me hugging my parents. Something I haven't done in over 10 years, if not longer. Well, to make a long story short, the hugging didn't happen. To make a short story long, this is what did.

Saturday evening we had a family dinner. My mom cooked dinner while my sister and I made fancy champagne cocktails. I was setting the stage for the big event. I was going to whisper the idea to my sister and hand her my phone to capture video evidence. One cocktail led to several, and said hugging didn't happen.

Sunday morning we had breakfast with the grand idea to make beignets because scrambled eggs wasn't going to cut it for such a momentous event. At this point in the story, I'm still the only one that knew about the hugging plans. That's the way my mind works. Until I tell someone else about it, it's not really a plan, and therefore I'm not stuck to it. Now back to the beignets. We apparently never passed that frying indoors in the winter class because that oil got hot and smokey and all the windows were shut tight. This perturbed my father immensely to the point of demanding my mother, sister, and I "Shut the operation down."

2 things here:
1. I've never really seen my dad get that mad in person. I've only heard tales of it.
2. Cooking breakfast had now become "an operation".

We didn't shut it down. We turned the oil down, finished our beignets (which were amazing), and cleaned up our mess. Meanwhile, my father was walking through the house slamming doors and mumbling things under his breath about us being stupid. He ended up not talking to us the rest of the day so the whole hugging thing didn't happen. I didn't even get a goodbye. Just a side eyed glare which I'm pretty sure meant, get the hell out of my house and take this damn oil smell with you but use my gas card if you need because I still love you (I added that last part in and used it. Because I knew he'd want me to, even if he was mad.)

This is not the sad story of a girl who wanted a hug from her dear father, but didn't get one. So my dad got mad, big deal, he'll get over it. I'll eventually get that awkward, what was I thinking, how do I hug my dad again, is it okay to pat his back, hugging moment.

For now, the tally is still at 12 hugs on day 27.